I just heard a really strange story that must say something—although I'm not sure what, exactly—about both "Swedishness" and what it's like to live in a social democracy.Apparently, in Sweden, you're given 3 months to decide your baby's name and formally submit the name to the Swedish government so the child can be issued an ID number. And, apparently, it's quite common for people not to be able to decide what that name should be until the last minute.
Now, to me, this is really crazy. Besides knowing the sex in advance, my American friends with kids have often paid for the latest 3-D scans so they can see exactly what the face looks like and they feel like they really "know" the baby before it's even born. They typically start calling the kid by its chosen name during the 6th or 7th month of pregnancy, and they certainly write something on the birth certificate on the day the baby is born.
Niklas told me he and his wife took several months to decide their little boy's name: Elton. Until the decision was made, they referred to him as "little brother." And my colleague Maria changed her baby's name several times before finally settling on the name that slid under the three-month deadline. But what happens if you haven't decided a name when the buzzer goes off?
Well, the Swedish government chooses for you. And you're not allowed to officially change your name in Sweden, so that's the name the kid will have on his papers forever.
We found this out firsthand when a colleague (who in this case shall remain nameless) let the three-month deadline slide by without choosing a name, and received an official letter informing her that the child's first name would be her maiden name. So, if I were that baby, for instance, my name would have been McCleary Miller instead of Megan Miller. Well, before the mother got a chance to do anything about it, her father—the kid's grandfather—who, by the way wasn't asked for any proof of identity, so he could have been anyone, called up the government office and said, "For 5 generations, the first-born males in my family have always been called Georg, so this baby's name must be changed to Georg."
I guess the grandfather kicked up such a fuss that they decided to humor him and changed the name! So that is the name now set in stone, and the mother lost her opportunity to have any input into the decision. Wacky, right?
6 comments:
Our name laws do suck, but not THAT much... Government will not pick a name for the baby that fast, it takes a lot longer and several more "threats" before a name is "assigned" like that. I doubt it has ever happened. And also, you are very welcome to change any part of your name at any time - but not to just anything. "God" is for example not allowed...
Generally, in response to cultural differences that feel 'stupid' I try to dig deeper into 'culture.' There is probably a rational historical reason why the Swedes did not name their children for a period of time, which is why there is a tradition where they still do not do so, even if some Swedes do not fully realize what that is.
I'd ask around about that.
I have a Korean son and they wildly celebrate the 1st birthday of their children. It is obscene how much money and time they spend on 1st birthday parties (and the children are of course too small to remember them). It had to do with mortality in S. Korea in times gone by. Achieving a 1st birthday was a huge deal.
I'm trying not to respond too often to your blog as I feel I'm generally hogging your space.
So, I'll gently slip into the background once again and just read and not write. This post just resonated with me, based on past experiences with cultures not my own.
Denese
Denese: You are right that there's often a clear cultural reason for baby-naming traditions. In a lot of countries there's a naming ceremony around the age of three months. I think some people think it takes that long before the child's personality really emerges and you know what his or her name should be. It's just hard for me to fathom being that way myself! I want to know the damn kid's name right away! :)
And please comment as much as you like. The more comments the better. Blogs are supposed to be a discussion, after all.
My Finnish friends have taught me that the kid's name always is kept secret for the first few months! And then, it's revealed at a party or the christening.
If I could have one job in the world, I'd want it to be the job where I pick names for kids I don't know. If I did have that job, you would bet that the three month rule would be severly enforced, and there would be a lot of Swedish kids running around with the names "Chickennugget," "Homosaywhat," and "Booyeah." Possibly also "Joe," because a Swede named Joe just seems funny to me.
A Swede named "Joe" would just be called "Yo." And yeah, that's kind of awesome.
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